


i wish you eternal happiness

by leevee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Bad English, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:28:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21858319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leevee/pseuds/leevee
Summary: This bliss comes from her. It comes from Ben. It feels like one being instead of two. He whispers over her lips, “I wish you eternal happiness.”---Post-TROS, in which Ben's feelings get transferred during the force transfer, to the point where Rey was too polluted with happiness to mourn.or my headcanon to explain why Rey didn't cry at the end of the movie.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	i wish you eternal happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first work as a seasonal Reylo shipper! TROS felt not as angsty as I wish it would be (so cruel, I know), so I'd like to share my headcanon here.
> 
> Please bear in mind that I have no beta and English is not my native language. Comment below if there is anything I can improve ^_^
> 
> Loosely based on this song: [Nothing in The Morning by Kemu](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0akhxkx0UI)

_How radiant is this happiness  
_ _of nothing, nothing  
_ _Hey, I'm happy right now, aren't I?_

* * *

This was what Kylo Ren felt like: an earthquake of unquenchable desire and endless turmoil, an all-consuming fire that burned bones to ashes, a fleeting wind that never stayed. It kept Rey mad for his inability to decide, it reminded her of her inability to stabilize herself.

This is what Ben Solo felt like: a little unsure but very much hopeful, a flower budding in the middle of a desert, wind rushing on top of a speeder, a baby’s first steps.

It makes Rey ache with want, more than anything. Magnetic.

The Force let his courage engulfs her, his warmth conducted by the lightsaber they hold together. She cannot see his face, but everything is alright in the depth of Exegol’s darkness and—

_Together._

His feeling echoes to her, and she echoes back _with you._

* * *

This is how revival feels like: a trickle of joy flowing into the voids she never knew before, as high as her ankles, then reaching her knees, streams through her waist, through her chest, and finally drowns her into a sea of never-ending gladness.

No, it is an ocean. Ebbing and flowing and never harming.

The Force bond dances happily, and she opens her eyes to find a smiling Ben.

“I did want to take your hand,” Rey says as she smiles back. “Ben’s hand.”

Before, his hand was almost on her reach, but all she can get was a slight touch. This time, she can grasp his hand whenever she wants.

A giggle escapes from her mouth. Ben’s smile is wider than she ever dreams.

And when their lips finally meet, she feels absolute glee. Deepens the connection, their bond begs. Sinking deeper in this beautiful, indescribable state of bliss.

This bliss comes from her. It comes from Ben. It feels like one being instead of two.

Ben whispers over her lips, “I wish you eternal happiness.”

And he lets her hand go.

* * *

Ben never stops smiling. Even when his life force has completely been transferred into Rey, his joy is forever immortalized inside her, engulfing her, drowning her. Maybe it is because he dies in the midst of elation?

Eternal happiness.

Rey had always cried whenever she lost someone important. This time, she feels too much joy to mourn over her lost love.

“Is this okay?” she asks shyly, Ben’s folded clothes on her hand. The smile never leaves her face.

_This is how I want you to be,_ a voice inside her head replies. _You deserve to be happy. You should be. So smile, Rey, for me._

His life force in her soul. His voice in his mind. His happiness in her emotion. His desire for her happiness.

Rey obeys.

* * *

Finn’s hand still grips Rey’s arms. Considering that she has just gotten patched up, it hurts a bit that Finn demands the truth more than he cares for her injuries.

“Rey, you know you can tell me anything, right?” he asks. “So tell me, how are you feeling now?”

Rey sighs, then immediately wears a very small smile afterward. “I am happy. You definitely think it’s weird, but it is. I’m happy.”

_Happy because we are united now, no one can break us apart._

“Rey? What’s wrong?”

She blinks twice. Finn has finally let his grip go. “Nothing, Finn. I just heard Ben’s voice, that’s all.”

“So you’re saying that Ben is now inside you? And he talks to you?”

“Well, sort of,” she shrugged. “His feelings also somehow affect me. That’s why I feel happy. Like, generally I just feel happy? Because he is somehow so happy all the time?”

“Ben’s feelings are your feelings now?” Finn’s mouth opens wider in shock. “I can’t believe it. He’s so possessive, he even controls how you feel.” The general clutches her upper arm tightly. “Dude, let her go already!”

“Finn, hey, let go of my arms!” She winces and covers her injured arm with a palm. “You’re the one who’s hurting me with that death grip!”

“Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to!”

The pain subsides (of course it subsides so quickly, Finn will never hurt her) and Rey talks again. “Besides, I will walk through the path of a Jedi. I have to be positive all the time. Be happy. Having Ben’s happiness inside me actually helps, you know?”

“But that doesn’t mean you should be happy all the time,” Finn says with concern lacing his voice. “It’s too weird because you just lose someone you love, but you didn’t even cry for him!”

“Why should I? He’s inside me. We’re together.”

Finn shakes his head. “Whenever you think your emotions are a mess, just... please come to me. I want you to live as normal as you can.”

* * *

This is the fact: as Resistance members leave the hideout to find another adventure, Rey will always see them off with a smile. A beautiful smile, they said.

“Come with us,” they say.

“No, I’ll stay behind,” she says. “There is something I need to do.”

Like crafting her own lightsaber, finding a place to commemorate the past, occasionally fly and solve little local quarrels and become a beacon of peace.

_(like talking to ghost and smiles and visiting Leia’s resting place and smiles and landing on Luke’s resting place and smiles and smiles and smiles and never stop smiling)._

* * *

In the end, there are Finn and Poe.

“Come with us,” they say. “Whenever you need two more people to travel together, we will come with you.”

At that time, Rey has just finished crafting her saber and ready to part with the ones she inherited from the Skywalkers. She smiles and tries to reassure them back. “I will contact you guys, don’t worry.”

Finn put his hand on her shoulder. “You should tell me whenever you feel anything but happiness. I’ll be there for you. Okay?”

“Alright. Now go!”

She smiles so brightly, and Finn realizes something that Rey has probably acknowledged for some time now.

It might look like a genuine smile. But for Rey whose default emotion state was happiness, her default genuine smile does not feel genuine at all.

And suddenly the ex-general feels so much sorrow for her.

* * *

The twin sun of Tatooine is too blinding, but she still sits down and watches the sunset.

_Rey Skywalker sounds great on you._

After months of living with Ben’s voice and her own voice in the same head, those voices have started to blend together in a sort of unity. How nice, the fact that Rey cannot be physically together with the man she loves, but her conscience can.

“I’m going to ask once more,” she says. “Is this really okay? Me, not crying over Leia, over Luke, is this really okay?”

_Grief does not suit you. You should not drown in it. My grandfather chose the dark side because he grieved, and in turn caused his own grief. But I won’t let you be._

“Is it okay if I didn’t mourn you?”

_I’m with you. Together. Forever. Why would you mourn?_

Rey takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. As the suns go down, she sinks deeper and deeper and deeper into herself.

Where is it? The part of her that aches to reach his extended palm, his soft gaze, his warm lips?

All she has left now are happiness (not her own) and confuses. There is no room for anything else, including any hint of sorrow.

* * *

Rey wakes up the next day with a grim realization.

She could no longer picture the scar on Ben’s face.

Yesterday, she forgot how long his hair was.

The young Jedi moves her hand to wipe her tears in case she has any, but all she could feel was numbing happiness.

* * *

“Finn, I need to talk.”

_“Send me your coordinates. Poe and I will fly to you, right now.”_

* * *

Bless the guy, Finn has somehow brought fluffy pillows and warm blankets.

“Since when do you have pillows on the floor?”

Poe plops down beside her and grabs a pillow for himself. “Somehow, our boy managed to build a career as a... how do you call yourself again? A chancellor?”

“Counselor, Poe, how many times I should corre—”

“Yeah, the councy-thingy whatever it is. Someone who lets you talk all day and gives you life advice out of nowhere?”

“I do listen, I don’t just let them ramble!”

Rey lets out a small laugh. “You guys never changed.”

“Well, maybe?” Finn finally joins them on the ship’s ground with a drink and small cookies. Rey should really ask him where they got all these comforting items. “I’ll just get into the point now.”

“Go on, Rey.”

“We’re listening.”

_I’m always listening to you._

“The point is,” Rey averts her downcast eyes from others.”I can’t remember Ben. At least, not as clear as I used to. I’m slowly forgetting him, even though his voice is still inside me.” 

She finally looks at BB-8 who has been staring at her this whole time. “I’m... I feel like something supposed to broke inside me, but all I can feel is nothing.”

Finn hugs her tightly. “Oh, Rey...”

“We were actually on our way to visit you when you called,” Poe speaks up. “We found something, and Finn’s feelings said we should immediately tell you. I didn’t realize his gut was on point.”

Finn releases his hands and nudges her towards Poe. “Take it. You need it.”

It was a picture of Ben. A young Ben, maybe when he was younger than her current age.

“We don’t know where it comes from, but I think—”

Rey tackles them both into a tight embrace. “Thank you, guys,” she says, “thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Poe ruffles Rey’s unbraided hair, while Finn runs his fingers through her back. “I don’t know if Ben’s life force inside you will listen to us,” Finn says, “but he really should let you grieve.”

“Ben said it can make me turn to the dark side,” she mumbles.

“Not if you’re not alone,” he replies. “We will be with you, whether you like it or not. We will make sure you say your goodbyes properly.”

“Rey needs this,” Poe says. “A happy life doesn’t mean she has to be happy all the time, so please, let her be, Ben.”

_Rey?_

Rey stares at the picture and recalls some buried memories. “I remember,” she whispers. “I remember clearly now, his smile was so beautiful. It was the first and the last time I saw him smiled.”

_I’m sorry, Rey._

She hears Ben clearly. It’s him. Undistorted by her own menacing mind, it was truly the one she loves, as beautiful as the first time the Force bond connected them together.

This is no longer Ben’s happiness. This is hers, too. So different and yet it feels like coming home. Finn and Poe whisper the name of the people they lost, and together they immortalize those who have joined the Force.

_All I wanted was to let you live a good life, my love._

“And I love you too, Ben.”

For the first time in months, her tears flow.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave constructive criticism below! Love you guys ^^


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